If you saw 24 Sunday Night, you saw Jack Bauer killing a bunch of African warlords and their minions. What you didn't see was that Jack did the exact same thing just a week before in Afghanistan. Seriously, if film crews followed Jack Bauer around every day, they would never run out of new seasons of the show.
In all seriousness, our Marines rock. From Bill Dupray at the Patriot Room: Outnumbered Nearly 10:1, Marines Make 'Em Pay
In the city of Shewan, approximately 250 insurgents ambushed 30 Marines and paid a heavy price for it...
During the battle, the designated marksman single handedly thwarted a company-sized enemy RPG and machinegun ambush by reportedly killing 20 enemy fighters with his devastatingly accurate precision fire. He selflessly exposed himself time and again to intense enemy fire during a critical point in the eight-hour battle for Shewan in order to kill any enemy combatants who attempted to engage or maneuver on the Marines in the kill zone. What made his actions even more impressive was the fact that he didn’t miss any shots, despite the enemies’ rounds impacting within a foot of his fighting position.
“I was in my own little world,” the young corporal said. “I wasn’t even aware of a lot of the rounds impacting near my position, because I was concentrating so hard on making sure my rounds were on target.”
Notice they didn't name the "young corporal." When Jack Bauer tells you he doesn't want his name on the record, it's off the record.
Read the full piece for the full description of the battle. As Dupray notes, not a single Marine was seriously injured. Amazing.
Like everyone else, I often feel the need to suspend my disbelief when watching 24. But this lone marksman single-handedly did the exact same thing we see Jack Bauer do every week.
Meanwhile, I found some Jack Bauer funny while searching the net. Below are some of my favorite ones. At the link, many more: Top 100 Jack Bauer Facts
There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Jack Bauer's right hand and Jack Bauer's left hand.
The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder.
Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer sees the glass as a deadly weapon.
When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.
Jack Bauer's sperm come in 9mm, .40, and 12 gauge slug.
Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Jack Bauer always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Jack Bauer.
The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.
There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Alex Trebek once asked Jack Bauer the question, "What's your idea of a perfect game show?" He replied with, "I'm the contestant and I ask the questions around here." Jeopardy was born at that moment.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."
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