Editor's Update: A little more than 100 days into Obama's term and these are starting to come to fruition already. Who says predicting the future is difficult? Not when your mind is sharp and you heart is pure. Heh.
I've always tried to be an optimistic person, but it's getting tougher regarding the upcoming presidential election. Still, I racked my brain and came up with ten positive side effects we could see thanks to a President Obama. Hopefully, this list will help cheer you up!
10. Fewer Decisions. Let's face it, decision making is something many Americans are not very adept at. Decisions, both little and big, make people nervous.
This year my wife and I decided we would buy me a used convertible with our income tax refund. It was a tough decision. Do we buy the car, go on a nice vacation, buy a bunch of furniture or a home theater system, or place a down-payment on a home? I think we made the right choice, but it wasn't easy. Under Obama, there will be no income tax refund for us. No tax refund, no need to make a decision. Yay!
Obama has said, "We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times … and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.”
Great. Buying a vehicle will be much simpler without having to look at SUV's, and there's no reason to look at something Barack says we can't drive. Do you want another plate of food at the buffet? Easy decision - Barack says no. What temperature should you keep your home? Apparently you won't be able to choose 72 degrees. See, isn't this better? (Editor's Update: No decisions for GM shareholders - now the UAW makes all of the decisions - or at least the ones Obama allows it to make. Don't even get me started with the banks.)
9. More quality time. We're gonna be seeing a lot of lines during the four Obama years. Punitive taxes and price controls on oil companies will lead to Carter-esque gas lines. Bring a book! Most Americans wish they had more time to just relax and read a good book. Likewise with health care. Obama's version of universal health care will lead to long waits in the emergency room. More reading time!
But it's not all about just reading. How about being able to spend more time with the family, or just relaxing in your government housing unit? Obama's higher capital gains taxes and business taxes will virtually end investment in the economy. Remember the 7-9% unemployment of the Carter years? It will be returning soon under Obama. Think of all the free time! (Editor's update: Oh look, it already has! 8.9% now and expected to exceed my prediction in May.)
8. And on the eighth day, he stopped the rise of the oceans and healed the planet. And it was good. As a humble Barack said in his premature acceptance of the Democrat nomination:
I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.
After the Obama-Christ causes the oceans to stop rising and heals the planet, maybe we can starting drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
7. Hope. If America actually succeeds in affirmative-actioning Obama into the presidency, just think of the hope that will give to under qualified people everywhere. You want to be a professional bowler, but last time out you bowled a 37? No problem! You want to teach geography, but you think there are 58 states and that Arkansas is closer to Kentucky than Illinois is? No problem! You want to teach college and jumpstart a future presidential candidate's political career with a fundraiser in your home, but you're a terrorist? Oh wait, that already happened.
Seriously, if this man can be President of the United States... just think of what you could accomplish with your life. (Editor's Update: You're a tax cheat, but you want to run the IRS? Anything is possible!)
6. No more white guilt. I've never had a problem with this, but judging by all the votes Obama's been getting, a lot of you do. This will end it once and for all. No more talk of "reparations" for the black community. Now that we've taken care of our guilt with the black community, can we learn a lesson from this please? Next time we feel the need to elect a token minority to high office, can we make sure he's not a socialist first? Is that too much to ask?
One good thing is that everyone's seen Obama's friends at Trinity United Church. If we've learned anything from this primary season, it's that black racism is a bigger problem today than racism aimed at blacks. You've come a long way, whitey!
5. The growth of conservative blogs and websites. An Obama victory would be very good for my expected income from this site. Conservatives tend to be at their best and most active when they are opposing something, and we would have a lot to oppose with a President Obama. The liberal blogosphere didn't catch up and pass us until well into the Iraq war when the left truly became rabid in their hatred of President Bush. Most of us already hate Obama's ideas. We'd have a field day. (Editor's Update: We are.)
4. The mainstream media won't have to ignore the war any longer. It must be real awkward in news production meetings these last few months. How do they justify to themselves the fact that they haven't reported on the war since it became obvious that we were winning? Well, they won't have to anymore, assuming Obama actually follows through on his campaign promise to cut and run. Then again, it's even become obvious to his liberal media friends that leaving Iraq now would be suicidal. I wonder if he cares. Really, I do. (Editor's Update: Broken campaign promise.)
3. Rogue nations can return to business as usual. After spending the last 7 years not attacking American citizens on our own soil, Religion of Peace-rs can get back to plotting to kill us all.
Muammar Qaddafy can come back out of hiding and resume his role as a state sponsor of terrorism. It's like Groundhog Day with that guy. Every time we have a Republican in office, he pops out of his hole and we whack him on the head and he goes into hiding for four (or eight) years. Then we elect a Democrat and he starts sponsoring terrorism again. If Qaddafy comes out of his hole and sees Barack Obama, we get four years of increased terror.
The French and Germans and Russians can go back to aiding our enemies (as if they've ever stopped). Hamas and Iran can go back to trying to wipe Israel off the planet, while Obama and Jimmy Carter sit down with their leaders for tea, or arugula or something.
I've never understood how Obama is supposed to get Muslim terrorists and communists to stop hating America, when he can't get his fellow churchgoers, Muslim friends, communist friends and terrorist friends to stop hating America. This should be interesting. (Editor's Update: A little over 100 days in and the Taliban invades Afghanistan.)
2. Proving to a whole new generation just how dangerous liberals are when they have power. I just graduated from ASU, where I discovered that most students knew nothing about Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. Of course, it is college kids who played a huge role in getting Obama nominated. Most college kids don't get disillusioned about government power until they reach their 30s or 40s. An Obama presidency would help these kids grow up a little quicker.
Along the same lines...
1. It took a Carter to make Reagan possible. No doubt an Obama presidency would be a repeat of the late 1970's. Assuming the "Carter 2.0" policies have a similar two-year carryover beyond his term, we're talking six very bad years for most Americans. Obama's policies, combined with Democrat majorities in both houses, can't do anything but lead to recession, stagnation, despair, malaise, weakness abroad and loose morality at home.
That being said, I expect to do fine in any situation. I can take six bad years for the rest of you in order to repeat the following progression:
The last President to be as hated as Bush was Nixon. The result of Nixon and the Vietnam War was peace-pansy-hippies taking over the Democrat Party and electing Jimmy Carter. The result of Carter's ineptitude was Reagan being elected to cut back government in 1980. The result of Reagan was peace, prosperity and the end of the USSR. The result of Reaganism's success was making it impossible for anything but a "New Democrat" to win the oval office. The result of the New Democrat was 9/11. The result of 9/11 was the war in Iraq, and the result of the war in Iraq was peace-pansy-hippies taking over the Democrat Party once again.
Assuming America will learn enough the 2nd time around to not ever trust a liberal again, if it takes six bad years to lead to 25 years as good or better than the great ones we've just had, there could be worse things.
(Editor's Update: For all the people telling me Obama wasn't a socialist, it seems that even I underestimated him. He's more of a socialist than I thought he was.)
Recent Comments